Riding the special bus , me and a hillbilly without his moonshine


Riding the special bus , me and a hillbilly without his moonshine.


In The Bitch Cave

In The Bitch Cave.

In The Bitch Cave

Weakness is never, ever an option


Weakness is never, ever an option.


My Midlife Smack down- Free EBook


Free Ebook: http://midd.me/DsBz

My Midlife Smackdown- Ebook – Drinking Bipolar.

Free Ebook:  http://midd.me/DsBz

Midlife: A Beginner's Guide to Blur
Midlife: A Beginner’s Guide to Blur (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
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Bipolar Baggage, up up and away

Bipolar Baggage, up up and away.

Being clear in the mind, and honest in my heart , I am just sick of settling. I am enjoying my time alone, yet I am missing the joys of sharing my thoughts and life with someone.

I am excellent at pretending. Pretending I am interested in whatever the current topic of conversation may be; when, in fact, I am entirely, momentarily (hopefully), hollowed out, numb, incapable of communication on anything other than a basic level: “Yes. No. Okay”; when all I want is the conversation to end, as soon as possible, as painlessly as possible, but for it to do so would involve me being able to talk, to explain – a dark irony not lost on me as I stare at the table top.

This is not an ongoing thing but I have baggage . I suffer from Bipolar Disorder and ADHD. Sometimes I talk too much, I am forgetful, I have mood swings. I cuss too much and on the other side I love too much .
Personally, my mania has lead to anger, cursing and inappropriate behavior. Not exactly the stuff of good relationships no matter what your diagnosis. I have been in a relationship that has turned into a brother, sister, mommy, kiddie thing. It has taken me many years of pain and disappointments to fully understand that I am deserving of a partner that loves me and my flaws. Everyone comes with baggage and I am carrying enough baggage to fill up an entire 747 plane.

I am not sure how I wanted this post to start or end, I do know that sitting here on this Sunday morning , I am OK.
I have started the day with my wonderful smoothies and of course hot lemon water instead of coffee. I have made another bowl of lovely cabbage soup ( yet it is getting boring, so today I spiced it up a bit ) . I went to just check to see if all this effort in this veggie , smoothie, cabbage soup diet is working and pleased to see I am fitting better in my clothes. Now , regardless of being bipolar , I am human and did the cabbage soup dance !

So what I have baggage , Who the hell doesn’t ?

My website : www.brokenopenscars.com