Secrets to live by. The 48-hour rule.

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Secrets to live by. The 48-hour rule.

I ask myself, “If I had 48 hours left to live , what would I do ? “

It makes you push aside anything that’s not truly important and focus on the things you love and make you happy! I would chose love and happiness over fun and a good night out .

It would take a special man.

A man that just “gets me” accepting my flaws and scars alike . I still have baggage that I’ve been working on leaving. I am not fragile living with shame and regret, drinking myself to the bottom of a bottle. Addicted to a kind of burning pain that leaves you mentally wounded . Trying to avoid the thinking,  highly medicated, and drinking.

Accept me as I am, or watch me as I step in these heels and wiggle my ass out the door.

Broken I am not.

A chaotic imperfect hot mess, definitely!

Inhaling the essence of a passionate soul lost long ago.
Gone is the prison and it’s heavy chains, replaced by walls of boundaries, that will not be crossed.

Settling is not an option.

This was the conversation last night  

I have never really gotten into the online dating thing . I am an addict, I have emotional scars , Behind the smile , there are still moments of great shame and regret.  I understand that I can not undo the past, I now put effort into letting  go.  I assume this will be a on going process.

So there it is .. After waiting a few minutes , I was not surprised when the real person showed up. As the conversation went south,  It took no time for me and my new high heels to wiggle my ass out of there .

As i was looking for a taxi , I ran into a friend that I haven’t seen in many years . Bottom line is the night wasn’t wasted.

Yet, I couldn’t  help but  wonder, what was this guy doing while I was sitting there having the all important first date conversation ? As I recall he played with hair quite a bit, and was playing his clothes every 5 secs..

Lets’ just call it a day and  image that somewhere in there was a woman dying to come out and bitch slap him back to the 80’s . .

Apparently, ” I’m a woman” and and I have “feelings” and those” feelings” are activated through my vagina.

How should I process that shit ? I’m dangerous when I know what I am doing and know who’s doing it to me.

I’m dangerous when I know what I am doing and know who’s doing it to me.

When a woman says “don’t make me go there”, wait 2 mins and she’s there .   I don’t negotiate .

 

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