There are these weird people who never seem to get bored.

“Oh!” say the chronically interested and engaged, “What a fascinating and exciting world we live in. How wonderful it is to be alive. How can anyone possibly be bored with all the variety in life?”

Lucky you!

“The truth is that everyone is bored, and devotes himself to cultivating habits. French philosopher Albert Camus, who said (in The Plague):

Of course, we use all of these strategies at different times. But there’s evidence to suggest that we should rely more on French philosopher Albert Camus, who said (in The Plague):. The worst strategy seems to be trying to evade boredom (think: drink, drugs and gambling. Speaking of gambling, I want to try to approach a subject that is sensitive to me, Gambling destroyed a friend and partner.

Someone, who I allowed myself into his madness. No, I don’t gamble, I want to see what I am spending my money on ( like all the useless stuff I buy but who can resist the dollar or euro store, not me ). Also, I am clearly Bipolar and aware that I will always have to watch me spending and I love shopping and haggling at the open markets whether it is here in Amsterdam or somewhere in the boonies.

Awareness is the important word here.

Addiction brings with it only detriment. What begins as a sniff, a puff, a drag, a swig, a morsel, a splurge, or a fling can spiral into something beyond the control of a person, and before he realizes it, he’s addicted. The thing about addiction and relationships is that both sides can be equally tormented, confused, and helpless. Some may try to understand the addiction, some give up after a while, and some hang on until the end, willing their way through the ordeal of helping an addict get his life back. Whatever the situation, the bottom line is that deterioration of relationships is collateral to any kind of addiction. It affects every person: the spouse/partner, family, friends, colleagues, superiors, and even random people they meet every day. The ways in which these effects manifest themselves can turn out to be disastrous because of the extremely sensitive nature of the problem.

“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic is alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Jung

No-one automatically knows how to talk to an addict.
Although people who have lived and worked with addicts may have discovered ways to talk to an addict, it is always difficult because of the confusion addiction creates in the addict, and in those around them. I will be the first to tell you that I have been using anything possible to numb myself and after awhile it becomes YOUR way of life. I am a recovering addict and let’s not get all caught up in my drama.

My blog has so many tearful or funny stories. You know, it depends on what mood I am in.
And being bipolar and just recently diagnosed with having ADHD. I can remember looking stone face high at the doctor and said I thought that you knew. with my mind and mouthing talking before I can finish thinking. I mean really take a look back, for those of you that follow my blog. So maybe I am not the person to be handing out advice or words of wisdom, I am an Addict! Still, I am going to put my two cents in anyway. Because I now understand what it feels like to be in a friendship or relationship with an addict, in denial.
I also know how hard it is to walk away.

I chose to walk away. It still upsets me but I found a bit of inner peace and I refuse to let go of the positive part of me, I have finally begun to be selfish.
Today I matter. My happiness is important to me and somehow, I must have hit bottom because don´t see the change in me as much as I feel the change.


ok babes, I am going to bed too. I have cok babes, I will set the alarm now for 9±30 AM.. LUV YA XX


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