The past is what guarantees us our future.

 

cdcover-2This is a concept that most people forget on a daily basis. You can’t change the past–a minute ago, included, is the past. So what if you can’t change it? That just means you have to push forward and make the future better.

I need to remember this, myself. I may not be able to change anything that has happened in my past, but I can change how it will effect me in the future.

I can’t change the fact of my abandoning my children all for my addiction , but I can change the future and how I deal wit it. I can stop it from becoming a defining characteristic of my life.

I can’t change the fact that I broke up with my ex, which believe me, I do not regret. But I can continue to look at it and gain all of the knowledge I can from such a terrible relationship. I can take that knowledge and either learn from it or continue  to make the same choices over and over again.

I can’t change the fact that I stopped  drinking and using relapsing directly from a wonderful rehab clinic.  I sat and instead dealing with my problems I choose avoid them. That has all changed. I must that a special friend really helped to get up and fight. I realize now that I will be fighting demon forever. I raised my hands together and prayed. I am not in my 20’s anymore yet my mind and behavior continue as if I was 20 again. I had to pray to forgive myself, the past is over, let it go.

I suddenly started to understand that I had to take my power back, but having is another story. It has taken everything in me to fight the demon of addiction, I finally understood it takes real work on my part. All the little things , such as surrounding myself around around positive people and staying busy has helped. Because if I am honest, it was easy to sit alone where no one could see how much I progress into the dark side of addiction. Writing has helped in many ways. Sometimes I write about my funny midlife crisis( which I have come to terms with).

Sometimes the depression may come out in my blogs on WordPress and Drinking Bipolar.

 

Why should we want to change our past, it’s over and we can’t change it ? Everything happens for a reason.  And good reasons despite hardly ever understanding what those reasoning’s are at the time.

I can’t change the fact that I stopped drinking and using relapsed directly from a wonderful rehab clinic. I sat and instead dealing with my problems I choose avoid them. That has all changed. I must that a special friend really helped to get up and fight. I realize now that I will be fighting demon forever. I raised my hands together and prayed. I am not in my 20’s anymore yet my mind and behavior continue as if I was 20 again. I had to pray to forgive myself, the past is over, let it go.

I suddenly started to understand that I had to take my power back, but having is another story. It has taken everything in me to fight the demon of addiction, I finally understood it takes real work on my part. All the little things , such as surrounding myself around around positive people and staying busy has helped. Because if I am honest, it was easy to sit alone where no one could see how much I progress into the dark side of addiction. Writing has helped in many ways. Sometimes I write about my funny midlife crisis( which I have come to terms with).

Sometimes the depression may come out in my blogs on WordPress and Drinking Bipolar. Having Bipolar I guess that is expected. I When I started this blog a few years ago I was in a very dark place, if you look back in my post you will see that. I thank you all for your support. Today I am OK, tomorrow hasn’t come yet. Today I forgive myself . Thanks everyone for supporting me and this blog.

 

Why should we want to change our past, it’s over and we can’t change it ? Everything happens for a reason. And good reasons despite hardly ever understanding what those reasoning’s are at the time.

But no, we can’t change the past, and we shouldn’t want to even through I have hurt many people my children especially . Our past is what has helped us get to where we are, and the past is what guarantees us our future.

 Beautiful+Disaster+from+Hurricane

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