Healing, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

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Healing, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

 

The year 2012 has been more than a roller coaster ride for me. When I look back at it, I could almost see faerie self crawling most of the time on the steel rails trying to get back in the damn friggin roller coaster cab.

Story of my addiction, and Class A Team would be my anthem..
Feel a depression going on, but not to fear; no dope man ’round here.
Well, probably I just refuse to sniff him out.
I haven’t really concentrated on “recovery” more just my relationship with my higher power(whom I choose to be Jesus Christ my Lord and savior).
I can’t give up cigarettes and am haunted by the disgusting things I did in my recovery.
So, I moved.
Yes, I know “wherever you go, there you are.”

tz2zwor3vt
But this gives me freedom of choice, well more freedom of choice.
I would have to sniff out dope man, do some dirty deeds and pray I don’t get caught by my role models.
Anyways, I refuse to do it.
I have seen enough of hell, why return?

health issues – though not completely well but I am in the process of healing from the different facets of its trauma that would probably take the rest of my lifetime… but then faerie is immortal, so that would take a while.
separation – it happened ! But who’s to say that it ends after signing the papers?
friendships – tested, damaged, parted, loss, proven.
mental and emotional outbursts – yoga and therapy helps the ADHD in faerie. OK some meds!
accidents – life-threatening, clumsiness, agility marked with stupidity.
and there are those annoying gnats that continue to hover every now and then.
They are all bad moments, unfavourable and troubling… and they hurt. A damn lot. Hurt in all the aspects of getting hurt, of feeling pain, in every damn way. To compare this to yoga, I am a pretzel – all stretched and twisted.

These have caused a lot of distortion in my mind, a lot of tearing in my heart. So I’m probably an oddly-shaped scarred pretzel.

*checks faerie’s spirit gauge for uncanny, humorous sarcasm*

I don’t regret they happened; they hold some big learning thingy for me… whatever the friggin thingy they are. *pulls faerie hair*
I only happen to think that the faerie is the teacher’s pet… … the Universe being the teacher.

*throws apple at teacher’s head*

http://www.castlecraig.co.uk/

http://psychcentral.com/addquiz.htm

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001924/

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/repairing-relationships/201207/midlife-crisis-overwhelmed-women

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3 responses to “Healing, “Wherever you go, there you are.”

  1. Very honest. Very inspiring. Keep going! I am a fan of you, and am interested in your journey. You are not alone, my friend. So many layers of pain and heartache are hard to discern and heal from, I know. Again, you are not alone in this. Be strong today, and take today one day at a time, ok?

    Ok that was my pep talk. Just thanks for writing.

    Like

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