After forty it’s a matter of maintenance.

1356267993I am going to be tripping seriously in this post. After forty it’s a matter of maintenance.
This is due to the fact that I must finally give in and either walk around toothless, bald , well that is overdoing it , I am not bald but I have loss hair and a lot of it .
Thank God for the 80´s and the hairspray trick .
Last year I got so fat and now that I am losing the weight , where in the hell is all the hanging skin coming from on my arms , legs and in between. Told ya, I am having a midlife day .

Woke up with a toothache and suddenly I am on Google trying to read on dentures . OK It is only 2 days until Christmas and as usual I have waited until now to drag my almost toothless , saggy self out the house to shop. Damn, I wish I could feed everyone Mickey D´s and call it a day .I better be getting a halfway decent gift..yeah I know Christmas is about sharing . And what do you call this ?

OMG, getting dressed is a whole different issue. I had gotten to the point that I only wore sweats but as I am losing weight and it shows in my face .The wanna be wrinkles are back. Either I can fit my pants for about 10 seconds and then the safety pin that is holding me together must go or I will start turning blue, not that being orange from my fake tan is so alluring . Some things I will not give up.!
Some interesting facts.

Dress Code
Many of us Fortyish folks are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We’re unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations DO NOT go together and should be avoided:

A nose ring and bifocals
Spiked hair and bald spots
A pierced tongue and dentures
Miniskirts and support hose
Ankle bracelets and corn pads
Speedo’s and cellulite
A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
Bikinis and liver spots
Short shorts and varicose veins
In-line skates and a walker
Thongs and Depends
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.

midlife funny 

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