bipolar, chasing boundaries

I am stuck again, nothing has changed in my opinion. I am trying to get on my feet and make a move, because I seriously think that if I don’t jump off this bandwagon, I will sink ! They say that being insane is doing the same dumb shit over again and hoping that the results will be different .
I pause , sitting here behind the computer, I take a look around and then it comes to me . A mixed cocktail , that is what I am. Dumb and insane because I swear that after all the treatment, bla, bla…I should get it by now. What I mean by this is I am old enough and I have been through more hell than I care to recall. I should get it !
But , I don’t. I walk back into the same room , the same smell lingers in the air. I look around, nothing has changed. I am still in search of miracles. I have spent alot of time chasing someone that I use to know. Mutual weirdness is what we share . I find out he’s batshit insane. Why am I doing all the bending…compromise is a two-way street. Maintain boundaries, I did not! I am stronger, I have been broken. Communication, I roll my eyes. Yes , I am still here . Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.



5 responses to “bipolar, chasing boundaries

  1. I like your metaphor of a cocktail. However, the flavor is a bit ‘up town’ to describe me. I am more of a Country Kitchen combo platter. Or wait, better yet, I am a super scrambler platter–something you order after bar hours that is just full of useless carbs and most is left on the plate.
    Okay, ‘nough of fun-with-words. So, are you trying to say that you are more human than the rest of the world, able to feel deeply, connect long-term, not turn away from love? ….
    Did you ever read what’s-his-name, some philospher anyway, who said that maybe the whole world is crazy and they have the truly human ones believing they are a bit ‘touched’? The only crazy people are the ones running the definition of crazy.
    Love your blog!


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