Today the little raisin faced beast is standing at the door step in my mind once again. Here I am sitting today trying to feel a part of a world that is no longer available, or of interest. My attempt to conceal the loss of a younger me”” is on attack . Can be a pretty bitter pill to take- particularly when you’re no longer all that young. I want to share something that happened the other day( or night ). Being bored, and trying to hang on to some far fetched idea that my partying days surely could be in the form of a “brownie”!
Really people , think to yourself and before doing such a thing I would suggest and double shot of whatever makes you happy. In my case that isn’t really possible because if I pick up that vodka bottle I may as well squeeze my middle age ass into my fishnet stocking that have been collecting dust since the 80’s, pull my 2 girls up and dig deep for my red madonna bra( ladies you recall those ).
Only trying to get my girls to stand up will include duct tape and another pair of hands. Get the point?
I think that I should let it be known that I have never been a stoner, back in the day I was the one girl that never wanted the night to end and to be honest they never did. Anyway, I better jump out of the 80’s before I get stuck there ( bloody “Hanson”is on the radio..Oh God, let me time jump now). it all started when watching “ American Weed” that I thought hey why not make some magical brownies. At the time I was sure that this was the cure for my emotional distress.
I took my time in the kitchen listening to supertramp and for moment had this smirk of a smile on my face, I was back in time for a moment . Brownies with peanut butter and a sprinkle of happiness was added. What happened next was me laying in bed watching TV and thinking “this shit doesnt work”.
The nightmare had begun and I could not lift my head from the pillow, as I lay there all I could think of is I am too old for this , how will call the hospital, surely I am having a heart attack as I felt every beat of my heart ? Since I can’t move on the best of times, getting to the bathroom brought on a whole new meaning. Here I was sitting on the toilet thinking to myself: this is gonna suck if I have to call for help now! At that moment all I wanted was my middle-aged crabby self to kick the shit of my younger self.
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