Wunderdrunk

I was just sitting here reading some of the funny post that I have saved in the past year or two . Since I wasn’t quite in my right mind, I cannot recall where I read this. Most likely my big ass was hitting the wicky wodka and I stuck to the couch ( where else would I be ) laughing so hard I wet my pants.  ( another midlife secret ). missing those days of the  over flowing ashtrays, the overwhelming smell of smoke , dirty empty glasses covering the coffee table with bills that would never be opened . Is this my living room or my very own charming Amsterdam pub. Okay maybe it wasn’t charming but let’s not forget this is my story and I make the rules here.

Booze:
If there is one thing I love, it’s booze. I cannot even tell you how goddamn much I enjoy booze. I don’t care if that shit is wine, beer, malt liquor, hard alcohol…shit, even mouthwash…anything with an alcohol content, I’ll probably drink that shit. Now, some of you bitches are probably saying, “That fool J-Wunderdrunk is a goddamn alcoholic.”  I mean, what is the only thing outside of drugs that will make you:

– Feel good
– Feel great
– Feel like shit
– Feel like death
– Help you tell the truth
– Help you lie, but not really
– Fuck for hours
– Not fuck at all
– Pass out
– Blackout
– Shit for a week straight
– Piss for a week straight, out yo ass
– Fight
– Fight for no reason
– Get your ass kicked
– Go to jail
– Eat
– Sleep
– Cry
– Listen to Boys II Men naked while reading love letters from your high school Biology teacher.

Advertisements

3 responses to “Wunderdrunk

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s