Miss crabby ass, in full force



OMG, I am about to go crazy bipolar on someone. I can laugh a bit ( which isn’t easy,because I swear it taking all my strength not to get ghetto right now.) My common sense told me not to so trusting,  again I didn’t listen ,  let’s be honest I was under the influence  of one thing or another  before leaving . I am old enough to know that people sometimes let you down . But does it have to happen all at once. For those of you who don’t know ,I left for a few months  get myself together  ( do I have to spell it out damnit . Sober (  let’s see how much longer that will work , at this rate).  For fuck sakes I  lived across the hall from her for the past 3 years . My great wonderful friend who should be taking care of my house and mail.. I have been around the block and back enough to know that if I have any doubts , STOP, and listen to inner voice. I am not 20 anymore but my anger is in full force .Yeah I know that behavior got me here ! 
So instead of losing my cookies and running out a buying a bottle of wicky wacky vodka , I will just ramble on  here , even as my chubby little fingers are typing I am feeling some relief .

Almost every single time, I say I am ‘fine’ or ‘okay’, to most the answer will always suffice. But for few, the truth is clear. Sometimes pretending that I am okay or I don’t feel anything is easier, but most of the time it’s hard. The fact is, my smile can lie,  Thank you for holding me up!


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