The party-chick who probably has seen it all, she isnt tired and she wants to go on. I read this somewhere this weekend , It was dumb and over the top and very much
me along time ago.
I thought to myself “hey this is a good opening for my blog,” it is real and honest. Suddenly it became all to real because I rolled with it, and it wasn’t so long ago and at times I still can behave that way.
Let’s get this out of the way for those that may want to bitch and complain . I am not a doctor nor am I giving advice , so if you are offended , move on.
Ok now back to my rambling, I ask myself , Self what in the f*ck was so special about being the party-chick, you know the one that just tags along , and thinks sleep does not apply to you ?
I must admit that right off , I am not struck with thoughts of regret and “if only “ shit.
No , I have flashbacks of some pretty wild times , Alaska being one of them, mostly me talking to bears dressed as yogi and the bunch. I laugh out loud . This does
n’t last long because I am in the bedroom and we have company in the living-room . (being sick gets me out of these everlasting visits). My point being , I wish that I had taken another road.But I didn’t. I chose to party hard and run wild. I pay the price now but it wasn’t all bad. I can laugh about it. Tonight ! I am happy for the times that these memories do not tear me into pieces , and allow me to think back to how I may have felt then.
I beat myself up enough on a daily basis for the choices that I have made. So whenever, I am allowed to smile about the dumb shit that my former party-chick self made .. Great! I reach deep down into my gut and allow the laughter to come out with guilt.
Anyone who has been there knows this is no easy matter because ,you only get that one or two minutes before reality sets in.
Looking in the mirror , winkles line me face , my hair is thinner while my waist is larger and my heart is heavy… still I smile, just a bit