Crappy Uncertainty

Crappy Uncertainty , the bouncing thoughts of my bipolar self minus the added shot of mistaken joy , you know what I mean . If not , cheers and ‘Thank you for being a friend” 

We drink for different reasons: thirst is always the top winner here but we also drink , to loosen up, to forget or be forgotten, or it may just be because it taste good. We drink when life is fine and dandy, we sip when no one is watching , when we are happy , when we are sad, at times we just enjoy the rituals. It is not the continual frustration and ongoing tension among family and friends that shames us as much as the shame of facing the guy behind the counter at the local liquor , AGAIN.
Truth be told, normally it is easier to change stores a few times a week . This even becomes a challenge when the bottle is empty and it isn’t even time for “ Law and Order “ ,watching repeats is the new interactive TV when you can’t quite recall what has happened.
Somewhere I read that if you have a problem doing any of these things without a drink you are in trouble:
“Dance? Laugh? Speak the truth? Open up to others? Take risks? Joke? Joke hurtfully? Cry? Argue? Hit? Smoke? Do drugs? Have sex with your partner? Have sex with someone other than your partner?”
Mmm , this may be true but come on, drinking does have it’s “up” points. Such as having sex with that someone else , you wanted to do it but just couldn’t undo that second top on your already Amish like dress.. A bit of vodka and you are suddenly the naughty hottie, out in the street singing , The Golden Girls tune , “thank you for being a friend” Ok that might be a bit of a stretch , these days it would be Beyonce shaking your cha cha and singing that you are crazy in love.
Now tomorrow may be a day that you want to forget but , just think of the stream that was created tonight , all because you had the one sip to loosen up, forget the shit, and possibly that crappy relationship that is going nowhere. Oh did I forget to mention that in this story you are the housewife and your husband and devil kids are wondering what is wrong with you , where did you get that glow and bloated red face but more important where the hell is dinner.
You there, with the coffee mug full of clear liquid, sipping vodka because you think it won’t make you reek of alcohol at your 9 a.m morning . Here is a thought , I am trying to throw a bit of humor in the mix but here is the point of this post, now I am speaking for myself and about myself. Options and Choices. What is getting my panties in a twist is the “ I can never drink again
so this is the rambling inhead when is comes to doing the hard work, know as recovery. Pff Goodnight , Cheers Q73M72XSXTZ7 

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