I may seem a bit PO ‘d and you may be right. I am not even about to get into the “why?” but let’s just say ….mmmm I had a ahhh haaa moment.
I may be having a bit of fun cause I know that I am off to treatment soon, so why not!
If I didnt think I needed treatment 15 mintues ago I know 100% that I need it now and what that is more I welcome it … Kind of like a rabbit looking at a carrot has ranch dressing on top… mmm that is SPeical. Yes, i know I am being somewhat rude and I need to stop..
So let me do a bipolar thing and make a 360 turn and .
You know ,I kind of feel as if ,I get permission to just not hold anything in and spill the beans cause as most people know .. treatment means believing in something much bigger than ourselves.. It could be a Taco bell wrapper, or the tip of your ciggie. It could also be this laptop that keeps getting hot as I am in the middle of “Letting it all out”.. Does not really matter and no one really gives a shit . Trust me the Faith Police will not be stalking me !!! ( Maybe the fashion Police and maybe the ” I can’t come to work police ” may be on my ass.. but I have a good head start . I have been at this for way too many years. As I write this, I wonder what am I going to do with my time when I am a sober member of the tribe. What the hell do sober people do and where does the inspiration come from? You see I am able to get deep without regret , but my friends will all this change in the near future ? Suddenly I am feeling lost, mmm big lost.. If it seems far fetched to you and even just a simple case of me talking bullshit, can you put yourself in my shoes . I am re-reading and thinking where the fuck is the vodka.
Guys, Girls, forgive my bad humor. One word comes to mind : Scary
OMG, Is that more gray hair that I am seeing, where are my glasses?