It all falls apart sometimes, I have no idea who my real friends are and I put my faith in you … it makes me scream. Tell what do you do when it all falls apart… I can’t turn to you
( here we go, again! )

It’s been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it’s been a while
Since I first saw you
It’s been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it’s been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve stretched myself beyond my means

It’s been a while
since i could say that i wasn’t addicted and
It’s been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It’s been a while
Since I’ve gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It’s been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i’m with you
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I’ve rendered
I’ve gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could lok at myself straight
and it’s been awhile
since i said i’m sorry
It’s been awhile
Since I’ve seen the way the candles light your face
It’s been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can’t remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it’s me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It’s been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it’s been a while since i said i’m sorry

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One response to “

  1. Wow Trish..although this may sound weird to you if I say this, but being bipolar might be a blessing.Read all the things again you've wrote, from all the bad things that happened, being diagnosed with bipolar, revealed a hidden talent. And your right, u shouldn't be so hard on your self, enough people did that for you already.It's time to count your achievements and be proud of it.For every minute your mind goes crazy, thinking of all the things you could have done better, the poor choices, letting the wrong people in.Really take a moment and enjoy that your still standing.Take another minute to celebrate ALL the good choices you made, the few good people u also let in your life.You may struggle on daily basis but your trying…even if you feel weak or crazy, your one of the strongest woman I know. Yes, believe it.YOUR ONE OF THE STRONGEST WOMAN I KNOW…cuz when I look at you I dont see the crazy bipolar Trish.I see my dear friend who is ALWAYS there for me whenever I need help(financially,emotionally,whatever),a fun bubbly woman who enjoyed her life, a good mother(ur more of a mom to me than my own).I SEE YOU AND I LOVE YOU FOR YOU.So dont let anyone fool you (man/woman/fam/friend/enemy) that your less than that, cuz I see how your trying,struggling and Im proud of how your handling it.Trying to go back to work…starting this blog.Im so proud (u should write a book, I ve already told you that).Yes, u have times when you have a fallback, but who doesn't.So what, the next day…you get up and you try again.And only for that, IM PROUD OF YOU…AND YOU SHOULD BE TO.Embrace and celebrate the strong woman you are.I support you in this 100% and keep blogging.Luv you.Kizz

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